Nobody Home
by TumblingTroublesomeTumbleweeds
Summary: A giftfic for ButterflyBombshell. A songfic to Avril Lavigne's 'Nobody Home'. What happened to Momo after Aizen's betrayal and how it affected her friends. Depressing(ish). Character death. Aizen is an asshole btw...wish they'd killed him. Kinda minor romances: Shuhei/Rangiku, Karin/Hitsugaya, Ukitake/OC Aizen/Momo if you squint, tilt your head and do the Macarena with a hula hoop


_Well I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,  
She felt it every day.  
And I couldn't help her  
I just watched her make the same mistakes again._

Kushira watched Momo spiraling out of control. She couldn't do anything to save her friend. She had thought the petite brunette had gotten over Aizen's betrayal, but that didn't explain what she was doing.

She was going out and getting drunk, sleeping with strange men. Even Rangiku had tried to talk to her but the petite Shinigami had just brushed them off and continued in her dark, downward spiral. Kushira and Rangiku felt helpless as they watched their friend.

_What's wrong, what's wrong now?  
Too many, too many problems.  
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs._

Momo downed another glass. She was drowning, unable to breathe. She was never going to be fine, not after what _he _did. She had loved him, he had made her feel special, like she actually belonged. He was her everything and then he went and…she downed another shot, trying to drown her problems away with alcohol.

_She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
It's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside._

Kushira found Momo stumbling around the streets of Rukongai, only half-conscious, hardly coherent. "He's gone," Momo sobbed, as Kushira picked up her friend like a baby, "he's gone, he's not there, not home"

Seeing her friend like this broke Kushira's heart. She silently carried her friend back to the Fifth division. The brunette sobbed the entire way. Kushira gently set Momo on her bed and tucked her in. Momo was crying. Kushira could see the vacant expression in her dark eyes, Aizen's betrayal hadn't just broken her, it had shattered her.

Kushira stroked the soft dark hair and hummed a quiet lullaby until Momo fell into an uneasy sleep, tears still trickling down her face.

_Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.  
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind._

Momo lay in her bed, staring out the window blankly. Aizen had been her everything and he had cruelly stabbed her. He had been her idol from the first time she saw him. He was the reason why she was in the Fifth division, he was the reason she worked so hard, he was the reason she made it to lieutenant.

He was her reason.

And he had cruelly betrayed her. He took a piece of her with him that day, the day he left. She would never get that back, never be whole again. Crystalline tears trickled down her cheeks.

_Be strong, be strong now.  
Too many, too many problems.  
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs._

Kushira sat by Momo's bedside. Captain Retsu Unohana had to sedate the petite lieutenant. The full story wasn't entirely clear, but what she knew was that Momo had tried to attack a Fourth Division Shinigami who had made a snide comment about Aizen. Kushira gripped her friend's hand. Several tears landed on the fair skin.

"Please Momo," Kushira whispered hoarsely, "be strong, be strong and pull through this. For me, for Rangiku, for Toshiro…" she squeezed the tiny hand. "Please," she prayed, "you're hurting us all. We love you Momo"

Retsu was leaning against the wall outside. She hadn't meant to listen in and she regretted that she had. Momo Hinamori wasn't doing too well. Aizen had manipulated her, possibly beyond repair. She prayed fervently that Momo would realize that her friends loved her, that she didn't need Aizen. That she belonged with her friends, not in this half-alive existence.

_She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
It's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside._

"I'll be okay," Momo whispered. She just wanted to get back to the Fifth Division. Retsu sighed but released the petite lieutenant. Momo walked the short distance to her division. She passed by Captain Aizen's former room. Sliding the door open, she stared inside. It seemed as though nothing had changed, like it was just waiting for Captain Aizen to return.

She walked over to his bed and curled up in the blankets. She breathed in his familiar scent, and for a brief moment imagined he was still there. When she opened her eyes and looked around the empty room, she noted the dust covering the furniture and the overwhelming loneliness settled in. She let out a sob. Even in Captain Aizen's room she still cried.

_Her feelings she hides.  
Her dreams she can't find._

On her good days, she could pretend it didn't bother her. She could laugh with and tease her friends. But it was all a mask. A mask to hide how shattered she truly was. She had loved Captain Aizen with everything she had and he had crushed her.

She slept fitfully, sometimes she would dream but mostly she would float. Float in a void of darkness, then _he _would call out to her. Call her name softly, lovingly. She would search and search in the dark, she would call for him. Searching, but never finding. Then she would wake, tears falling down her cheeks.

_She's losing her mind.  
She's fallen behind._

Kushira knew. She knew Momo was barely clinging to sanity. It scared her. She prayed, fervently, that Momo wouldn't lose that last thread anchoring her to lucidity. Kushira had taken over the running of both her own division and the Fifth Division. Momo wasn't in any shape to do anything and Kushira could see the division slipping into disarray. Her hatred for Aizen increased tenfold.

Jushiro Ukitake watched his friend running herself ragged. Sometimes she would leave her lieutenant, Shuhei Hisagi, to run the Ninth Division and she would take care of the Fifth Division's paperwork. He watched her lose weight, worrying over her friend and trying to manage two divisions. He tried to help when she was too overwhelmed, he would take care of some of the paperwork. She never noticed. Never knew he knew.

Momo just kept slipping further into the darkness crushing her. She knew her division was falling but she couldn't find the energy to get up. She couldn't find the energy to do anything. All she could do was sleep, because in her dreams she would hear his voice, calling out, whispering her name, caressing it with his voice, she wanted to lose herself in it.

_She can't find her place.  
She's losing her faith._

Momo felt like she was no longer meant to be a Shinigami. She couldn't even keep her own division going. She felt like a stranger. She spent more time in bed, in a zombie-like trance. She didn't belong anywhere. Without Captain Aizen she was like a ship lost at sea. She was even losing contact with Tobiume, which scared her the most. She had trusted Captain Aizen, she had put all her faith in him.

His disguise was perfect. Flawless. That terrified her. If Captain Aizen, her captain, a man she blindly trusted, a man she had once considered the kindest, gentlest, most perfect man out there could trick her so easily, then how could she ever trust anyone again?

His hoax was too convincing. How could Momo know who was good anymore? How did she know she wouldn't be betrayed? All her faith in people was shattered like a broken glass. Kushira, Rangiku, Toshiro, how could she know that they wouldn't turn out to be heartless like Captain Aizen?

_She's fallen from grace.  
She's all over the place.  
Yeah, oh _

Central 46 had heard that the captain of the Ninth Division was also overseeing the Fifth Division. After an investigation, they convened. Momo had been summoned before them, a "performance evaluation" they had called it. She couldn't find the energy to defend herself in front of them.

When Kushira had found out, she had shown up as well. She argued on behalf of Momo. Loudly, vehemently. She had gotten herself kicked out of the chambers and proceeded to blow the door down in a rage. They put her in reiatsu binding handcuffs and escorted her back to her division. As they passed the Thirteenth Division, Jushiro hurried out. After conferring briefly with the guard, Kushira was released under the condition that she stay away from Central 46 headquarters while the performance evaluation was underway. Jushiro made sure she didn't leave his sight.

Momo dragged herself back to her division. While Kushira's arguments had been sound, the fact that Momo was neglecting her duties as a lieutenant, much less a Shinigami had overwhelmed it. They had unanimously demoted her.

Toshiro had heard from the grapevine that Kushira had been placed under arrest and Momo was demoted. He went to go talk to Momo, but the brunette was gone. Toshiro and Rangiku spent the next several hours trying to track her down. Her reiatsu wasn't disguised, but it seemed to be everywhere. Bars, clubs, when the duo finally tracked her down, she had passed out on the sidewalk, in complete disarray.

Rangiku would never forget the haunted look in her captain's turquoise eyes as he looked at his childhood friend.

_She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
It's where she lies, broken inside._

Momo couldn't handle it anymore. She was worrying her friends. She had gotten Kushira arrested, she had Rangiku and Toshiro running circles. She had nothing to live for, nowhere to go. The hollow shrieked and she faced it, eyes closed.

_With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside._

Her last thought before the hollow killed her was a silent apology to her friends.

_She's lost inside, lost inside…oh, oh, yeah_

The news of Momo's death hit her friends hard. Toshiro maintained his stoic façade, having shut the door to his office, claiming to be doing paperwork. But Rangiku could hear the quiet sobs and as he left to the World of the Living in a foul mood, Rangiku saw the tear tracks down his cheeks. She hoped the Kurosaki girl would be a comfort to him.

Rangiku herself drank into oblivion, she knew she should have done more, she should have helped Momo, helped her friend before it was too late. Because now it was too late. She drank, not caring what happened next. Shuhei, who had been worried about her, found her passed out in a dingy bar and gently carried her back to her division. As he set her down, her blue eyes opened. "Please," she mumbled, gently grabbing his hand, "stay with me…" she burst into tears, the death of Momo and the betrayal of Gin overwhelming her, the alcohol intensifying the effects. Deep in her alcohol soaked brain she knew she couldn't be alone right now. Shuhei obliged, he laid down next to Rangiku who buried her face in his chest and sobbed. He let her grieve, held her tightly as she finally fell asleep. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before following her into a deep slumber.

Kushira stumbled to the Thirteenth Division. Jushiro was getting ready for bed when he felt her reiatsu. He immediately knew something was wrong and met her on the engawa. Her eyes were glazed over. She stumbled into his arms, clinging to him for dear life. He gently pulled her inside. Behind closed doors, she fell apart, would have fallen to her knees if he weren't supporting her. Quiet tears tracked down her cheeks, her green eyes filled with grief. She fought past her constricted throat and let out a raw scream of pain. Jushiro tightened his grip. She screamed and screamed until she was hoarse, until she was dizzy, until she no longer had any strength left. Jushiro merely held her, he could feel her trembling with exhaustion and grief. He gently guided her to his room, supporting her full weight. He helped her into the bed and she curled close, afraid to let go.

_She's lost inside, lost inside…_

When they found out Aizen had still been manipulating Momo the entire time, they were beyond furious. They were going to kill him in the most painful way possible. Rend him limb from limb, then have Mayuri do some twisted experiment to bring him back to life and do it again, and again.

Momo's death had a profound effect on the participants. Kushira blamed Central 46, Rangiku blamed herself and Toshiro blamed Aizen. Over time, their grief lessened, but it was never gone. They kept her memory alive even as their lives went on. When Aizen was captured and sentenced, they were bitter that they hadn't been able to kill him.

Jushiro had stopped Kushira from going into Muken and brutally attacking Aizen in a blind rage. He had always been able to calm her temper, but this time he had used a kiss.

Toshiro frequented the World of the Living. Eventually, it became common knowledge among those who knew him that he and Karin Kurosaki were officially together.

Rangiku had wallowed in her guilt of not having done enough. Shuhei and Izuru Kira had pulled her out of her remorse and tried to make things better. Shuhei and Rangiku ended up together.

They moved on with their lives, but they never forgot the petite brunette with her warm smile and soft voice.

_Oh, oh, yeah_


End file.
